What's wrong with me?

I used to be a blogging fool and now I'm no where to be found. It has been a great holiday season and I need to tell you all about it. That's coming I promise but first...I have a little story I'll leave you with.

Mmmmhmmmm. Ok. I dyed my hair a couple weeks ago. I was hoping for a dramatic, noticeable, freaking life changing change. Does that even make sense? You know what I mean. Well bless kateka's guts because she came over, went and picked it out with me, and then dyed my hair for me because I'm too worried to do it myself. I don't want any patchy pieces people. But for some reason there were 2 sets of gloves in the box so i kinda helped out :). It took 2 boxes and 2 hours but I was so excited to see it. Then the big reveal! Dun dun dun... It looked exactly the same. Haha I felt like. It got a little darker I suppose but not as dark as I wanted. I didn't want to do it again and after I told people that I had dyed it they'd say the could tell a difference so I decided it was ok. Taylor at work told me, "at least it's not blue" and I thought to myself he has a point! (you know those blacks that go blue? Not great!) So I decided I was happy with it. Well it comes with a conditioner that you use 2 weeks later so on Saturday I thought to my little self, "self? It's been 2 weeks and you should use that conditioner to keep your rich color." Of course I thought this while I was already in the shower so I had David grab it for me when I was all prepped to condition. I rip the envelope open and squirt a bunch into my hot little hand. My first sign that something wasn't right was the fact that it was brown. Hmmmm conditioner isn't usually brown so...red flag. I flip the envelope over and read the instructions...
Step 1. Put on gloves. Well....too late for that. (no wonder there were 2 sets of gloves.)
Step 2. Spread evenly over hair. Oh ok perfect. Yep, in the shower, mirrors fogged, spread evenly? Here we go. So I get out of the shower (leaving it running) to spread this junk in my hair. After the first initial handful I run downstairs...naked...and get some gloves. I then proceed to struggle to get them on my wet hands (ever tried that? It's hard.) and get the rest out of this envelope. So I get the second envelope that I thought I didn't need and spread that in my hair too. The shower is still on.
Step 3. Leave for 5-10 minutes for best color and then wash out. I start thinking about there probably isn't a shot in this world that it is in my hair evenly so...do I really want to leave it in? So I start to run around my upstairs between my guest bathroom to look at it in the clear mirror and back to the master trying to decide if I should turn my stupid shower off. Yes good idea. So I turn my shower off and then run back to the other bathroom. Nope. Doesn't look even. So I'm trying to spread it around when I realize that dye stains..hence the gloves. AH! It dripping down my face, neck, and back. About then I thought about how freaking awesome I'd look in the Christmas party pics from the next day with brown streaks on my face. "Conditioner!" That's what kept the original dye from staining my neck so I run in to my bathroom and put conditioner all over my forehead and neck/shoulders. Then I start thinking about how I already have the dye all over so it's not likely the conditioner will work now. "Wash it out! Wash it out!" I turn the shower back on and get it all out as fast as I could. "MAYDAY" I yell to David who replies with, "for the record, I told you not to dye your hair." I dried it off and looked to see the damage...damage there is. I have like a black streak on the front right and a patch on the left that got left out completely. Anyhoo I look ridiculous, a little like a tiger and it's not great. Haha oh well it'll fade or I'll redo it but for the time being (and for all the Christmas pics) I'll just rock it out. Thank you for reading and I'll ttyl.