Elevated Proteins

On Monday I received a call. My heart fell and I tried to hold back my tears while on the phone with this poor lady just doing her job. She told me I had an elevated level of protein in my blood from what they normally see. This protein comes from the babies liver and to have that protein leaking into my blood can mean spina bifida or an abdominal wall defect. She said it doesn't mean for sure the child has these things, more times then not with the level I had in my blood it just means I have a leaky placenta. However, I have to go in for an ultrasound. I was a mess but I was trying to think clearly so I could ask any questions I had. I asked if its not spina bifida what does a leaky placenta mean for the rest of my pregnancy? Would that cause complications down the road? She told me that it could but since I'm already getting checked frequently because of the diabetes they would keep an eye on that too. I know I'm emotional and I'm sure thats part of the reason I melted down the way I did but thats kind of a scary phone call. Since I was bawling as I told David, he just comforted me and held me as I explained it all. He researched spina bifida and leaky placentas. We found several personal blogs that had been written about the same things we're going through right now. Majority of the time it turned out to be leaky placentas or something but not spina bifida. He gave me a blessing, we both felt comfort and peace over the matter. Human nature however, we've gone through panicked moments and calm moments since then. Obviously we would love the child no matter what. Its because I love this child that I don't want it to have any health problems like that. I talked to the genetic counselor on Tuesday about what my levels were. Anything under a 2.5 is normal. My test result came back at 2.5. Its enough to flag it as a high reading but of all the high readings you could have its the best. I've felt better about it since then. Even with these things helping me feel better, its all I think about. Everytime someone asks about the baby I smile and tell them everything is great while I think "EXCEPT I'M SCARED TO DEATH RIGHT NOW". I haven't really wanted to talk about it with many people because it just brings up all those fears but today its really been on my mind and I thought I just need to get it out. I also have another reason for getting it out, I want to ask anyone reading this to please keep us in your prayers. Our ultrasound is Monday and I can't wait until its over so we can know the answers and I can breathe deeply again.