Psychiatric Evaluation

At work we have a blog where the president of our company gets some conversations started. For instance he did one a while back about the 4th of July. He asked "How do you celebrate or express your patriotism?" Of course the comments that followed included the usual stuff, BBQs and Fireworks. There was one however that stuck out just a tad...

WEELLLL..........

I LOVE OUR COUNTRY VERY MUCH AND I AM GRATEFUL FOR WHAT WE HAVE. BUT, I HATE POLITICS!!!! WHEN VOTING COMES I HAVE A BAG OF WINTERGREEN LIFE SAVERS TO HELP WITH THE INDEGESTION AND HEART BURN ACCOCISTED WITH POLITICS. I LOVE OUR FLAG AND IT'S SO PEACEFUL TO WATCH THE FLAG WHIP AROUND IN THE WIND. I HAVE A NUMBER OF ANCESTORS WHO HELP WROTE THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNTED STATES. THERE WAS A WAKEFIELD THAT WORKED IN CONGRESS. AND THERE IS A CITY NAMED AFTER THE LAST NAME. HE ALSO ATTEMPTED TO ASSASSINATE THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND. TO HIS SURPRISE, EVEN IN THE TIME OF HIS PLOTTING, A SITUATION AROSE AND ENDED UP SAVING HER LIFE. MANY OF MY ANCESTORS FALL IN KING EDWARD THE FIRST. PRINCE CHARLES AND PRINCESS DIANA ARE MY COUSNS. I LIKE TRYING OT HAVE A BBQ. I LOVED SPENDING NIGHTS SLEEPING UNDER THE STARS. HOPING TO SEE A MOVIE (SHOOTING STAR) BEFORE MY EYES CLOSED. IF ONLY THE SUN WOULDNT SHINE SO EARLY IN THE MORNING! AND THE ALARM CLOCK GETS ME UP SO EARLY IN THE MORNING. ROBINS. (LAUGH) AND THE MISQUITOS SINGING FOR A BITE. NOW YOU CANT UNLESS IT'S NETTED. BUT,YOUCANT SEE THE COTTON PICKEN STARS! WHT'S THE USE OF SLEEPING UNDER THE STARS IF YOU CANT SEE THEM......PISH!!!! STOP PICKING ON ME AND LET ME SLEEP!! OH WELL, THATS SUMMER FER YA. AS FOR FIREWORKS??! BUY AS MUCH OF THE FIRE WORKS AS YOU CAN IN JULY AND ADD TO THE ONES YOU GET IN JANUARY, IF THEY ARE THERE. AND HAVE A BLAST SHOOTING THEM ALL OFF. AND REPEAT THE PROCESS THE NEXT COMING YEAR. I LIKE SHOOTING THEM OFF INTHE WINTER THAN IN THE SUMMER. BECAUSE OF THE FIRE DANGER. AND, BECAUSE OF THE SNOW. IT'S SOOOO PRETTY. AND IT'S SO MUCH LOUDER, BECAUSE THE SNOW SOFTENS OR MUTES THE NOISE THAT WE DEAL WITH IN SUMMER. YES!! THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!! THE LIGHTENING FLASHES ARE AWESOME INTHE WINTER. I LOVE HOW THE FIREWORKS SPARLE UP THE SNOW. WITH THE CRACKLING OF THE ICE AND SNOW ON THE SIDEWALKS, AND THE PARKING OFF THE SIDEWALK AND FROM THE ROAD YOU CAN DISPOSE OF YOUR FIREWORKS BY STICKING THEM IN THE SNOW. INSTEAD OF A BUCKET OF WATER AND A FIRE EXTINQUISHER AND WATER HOSE NEAR BY IN THE SUMMER. AHHHH! THE JOYS OF WINTER, SO MUCH EASIER TO SLEEP, INSTEAD OF THE HEAT. SUMMER'S GREAT AND I LOVE IT JUST AS MUCH AS I DO WINTER. EACH SEASON HAS IT'S OWN PERSONALITY. AS FOR JULY, IT'S A SAD MONTH. BECAUSE IT'S HALF WAY THROUGH SUMMER. BUT, UNLIKE WINTER YOU CANT HEAR THE WIND WRESTLING IN THE LEAVES. AND WHEN IT DOES WRESTLE IN THE LEAVES, IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S RAINING. DOESNT MATTER WHAT SEASONIT IS. LIFE WITH IT'S ABSTRACT. NATURE, WITH IT'S EXQUISTE BEAUTY. IS SO UNIQUELY DEFINED, AND DOWN RIGHT ORATORICAL!!!!

BUT, LIKE I WROTE BEFORE I WROTE A POEM ABOUT THE HOSPITAL, THIS WAS ALL I HAD IN MEMORY OF THE OLD HOSPITAL:

"HISTORY TRIES TO HOLD THE SHACK TOGETHER. BUT, TIME'S AGAINST THEM. THE SEASONS OF TIME, BLOWS THROUGH HISTORY. AND THE OWEN MILLS THROUGHT THE YELLOW GRASSES OF SUMMER".

No. Joke.

Well the newest blog post was asking about end of life care. Everyone is posting insightful
comments on loved ones that have passed or what have you. Then there was this gem...


GREAT FOOD FOR THOUGHT.


BUT, YET. OUT OF ALL THE STARS IN THE HEAVENS, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW, WHAT STAR WAS YOUR FAVORITE? HOW WOULD YOU KNOW IF THE STAR THAT YOU SAW THAT NIGHT, OR THE NIGHT BEFORE WOULD BE THERE? PERHAPS, HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW. WE REALLY NEED TO KEEP IN MIND THAT THESE STARS ARE LIKE THE IRREDISCENT COLORS ON A SOAP BUBBLE. YOU DONT KNOW WHEN THEY WERE BORN. WHERE THEY HAVE BEEN. WHERE THEY ARE GOING AND WHEN THEY ARE GOING TO POP. THAT'S WHY THEY ARE LONGER THAN YOUR ARM. EVEN A FRESH CUT FLOWER TELLS YOU HOW FRAGILE LIFE IS. THAT THESE STARS AND PLANETS ARE OLDER THAN WE HAVE IN OUR LIFE TIMES. LIFE IS LIKE A ROCKY PATH WITH LARGE ROCKS TO MAKE US STUMBLE BOULDERS TO BLOCK OUR WAY OF SUCCEEDING. WE HAVE OUR UPS AND DOWNS. AND YET, THE WORLD IS FULL OF BEAUTY AND WONDER. LIFE IS LIKE A CHEF'S KITCHEN. THE WORLD OF VEGGIES MAY NOT BE KIND AS TO MOST. BUT, WHAT HE MAKES OUT OF IT, MAY TURN OUT TO BE THE VERY BEST. SAME THING WITH THIS END OF LIFE CARE. IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHAT WE WANT FOR OUR SELVES OR THE CARE OF OTHERS. THERE IS ALWAYS THE BURDEN OF REGRET AND REMORSE OF IF WE DID THE RIGHT THING AND HOPE THAT WE DIDNT DO THE WRONG THING. THIS IS A TICKLISH TOPIC FOR US INDIDVIDUALS, AS WELL AS FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. BUT, WHAT I KNOW IS THIS. WHEN IT IS OUR TIME TO GO WE WONT BE AFRIAD. LIFE WITH ITS ABSTRACTS, NATURE WITH IT'S EXQUISTE AND STUNNING BEAUTY IS SO UNIQUELY DEFINED. IT'S DOWN RIGHT ORITORICAL!!! IT'S FRIGHTENING WHEN YOU HEAR STORIES OR TV SHOWS WHERE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN BURIED ALIVE. AND WE HOPE THAT DOESNT HAPPEN TO ANY OF US. BUT, THE THOUGHT IS STILL THERE AND VERY BOTHERSOME. THAT IS WHY WE HAVE TO LIVE OUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND MAKE SURE WE ARE DOING ALL THAT WE ARE SENT HERE TO DO. CAUSE SOMETIMES, LIFE CAN BE LIKE PLAYING MUSICAL CHAIRS. YOU DONT KNOW IF YOU'LL STILL HAVE YOUR SEAT. I LOST A COUSIN DUE TO PANCREATIC CANCER. WHEN I TALK ABOUT HIM. I TELL PEOPLE THAT HE WALKED HOME BARE FOODTED. WE ALL WILL! EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAS LOST THIER LEGS AND OTHER LIMBS. THAT'S HOW THE SAYING STILL HOLDS TRUTH. WHEN YOUR SHOES WEAR OUT, YOU STILL HAVE YOUR FEET. THOSE WHO HAVE EARS WILL HEAR.

Ok. Really? Is this lady seriously working at a hospital? Can she even carry on a normal conversation without going off on one of her random thoughts about stars? They don't even make sense...lady, you crazy. I would like to take this time to thank her though. She has brought tears to my eyes a couple times (because I'm laughing so hard) and given me many things to think about for years to come (and quote at random moments to lift the spirits of coworkers around me). Bless her.

The Circus!

For my birthday my mom bought David and I tickets to the Circus. I have been to one circus before with my mom years ago but don't remember much. Pretty much the only thing I remember the kissing clown that had a sign around his neck that said "Kisses 25cents". I can't remember if he actually did kiss my mom or if he just acted like he was going to but I was so scandalized. I was like "Hey my dad, her HUSBAND, could totally take you clown. Back off." This time I saw no such clown so don't worry.

We went down a little before it started because "a little birdie" told me that you could go walk around the animals and stuff. But they either didn't do it for our show or somehow we completely missed all the elephants. Just so you know my opinion on the matter, I don't think we just missed them. Well we got a couple hot dogs and we started walking to our seats. When we get to our row I ask David which seat numbers. He said we were in 4 and 5. Well someone homeboy was sitting in 5. So I start walking into the row and homeboy knew he wasn't in his seat so he saw me and started moving down. I went in the row first and he only moved a seat down so I had to sit next to him. He was all in my space. Then he stands up with his butt right in my face and is asking all the people sitting on the other side of him and the row behind us (turns out they were all family) where he's supposed to go. Then he turns to us and says "I think I'm in the wrong place." So we let him by and finished eating our hot dogs which I personally enjoyed a lot more without homeboy all up in my grill. But this family didn't stop annoying us. They were so loud and grandma or whoever she was behind us was shouting at everyone to let her see their tickets. "Yep portal X, portal X, and portal....W? Why are they in W? They should be with all of us, we're all right here so they should be here too. Oh here's the problem...row 20. Oh you're on row 20. Ok. Well I don't know." She was so obnoxious. Then closer to the show starting the guy that was on the other side of homeboys empty seat moved down next to me. I'd like to give him a name since we got so close during the Circus so from now on in this post we shall call him Bubba. So Bubba moves down next to me. His knee was touching mine but he didn't seem phased by it. He was a pretty big guy. Around this time I was like "David I'm going to need some dip-n-dots stat" While David was gone to buy me some dip-n-dots Bubba gets up and asks me "Excuse me mam...er....miss." Yes, Bubba was very polite. He didn't come back for, I swear, half an hour. The Circus started without him. It all made sense when he did come back because he had churros and popcorn and everything under the sun. Meanwhile grandma behind me has a child on her lap and she's oooohhhhhhing and aaaaahhhhhhing at everything. "Look at that. See that. Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh thats so cool." Around this time I made a decision that I had to change my attitude or this terrible family was going to rain on my Circus. So I started paying attention to everything that was going on on the floor.

It was a great show full of tight ropes, trampolines, motorcycles in a cage, elephants, tigers and of course, a surplus of clowns. My favorite things were....

7 motorcycles in one little cage.

I don't understand how someone came up with that idea. It was a family that did it at the Circus. Some random Sunday afternoon Grandpa was probably like "Lets all get on our bikes and then see how many we can fit in this little metal cage. Lets try 8. Ok Spencer died so maybe next time we should only do 7. Its all about trial and error guys. He sacrificed for the better of the family." It was still really cool to watch.

The elephants. They were so freaking cute.

And my personal favorite
Did you just die a little. That baby elephant was so adorable. I'd take her home with me.

Here are some other fun pictures from the day

Sorry for the extreme length of this post. I just had so much to tell you about my fun filled day. Thanks for the tickets mom...other then that great family we sat next to it was a wonderful afternoon!

Lovely Afternoon

Today was a super slow day at work. I got to leave at 10:30. Keep in mind that's still a half day for me but when I get off that early I feel like I don't work at all. It's marvelous.

Today I.....
Took a nap
Watched High School Musical 3 (and loved every minute of it)
Cleaned my fridge out (I'm honestly terrible at that so there was some gagging involved since it had been a while.)
Cleaned my kitchen
Completely organized Davids dresser (he is a hot mess. I found Costco coupons from Dec in there. He has WAY more clothes then I have. Believe it.)

I love days like this.

Didn't you recognize my.......eyelashes?

The other day I was running errands and I had to go to the bank to deposit a check. I went in to the bank because the check had my maiden name on it and it requires my social security number and stuff in order to deposit it. I waited in line for a minute and then the next open teller calls me to his window. The conversation went like this...

Me- "I need to deposit this check. Here's my account number and my drivers license. The name on the check is my maiden name so I can give you my social if you need it."
Charles- "Well I could tell you were a (maiden name) by your eyelashes."
Me- "haha oh really?" Then I start thinking about how sketch that comment is. What? Thats so random.
Charles- "Well, I'm assuming. Alec? Is he your brother?"
Me- "Yes, Alec is my brother. How do you know him?"
Charles- "From Church."
Me- "Really? How long ago was that?" (my brother hasn't gone to church in years)
Charles- "Well middle school and high school days. I went to the same church he went to. Not the same ward but my ward shared his building."

Keep in mind its my building too, I'm wondering at this point why he's talking to me like I know nothing about this building or the ward that shared my church building growing up.

Me- "Oh ok. So you probably know (this person) and (this person) and probably (this person) too right?"
Charles- "Well, no. I guess how I really knew him was from ward ball."

Ok, all those people I named played ward ball with Alec every single week so I have no idea whats going on in this guys head. Its obvious he's a weirdo at this point.
He finishes my transaction and its just kinda awkward at this point so I say

Me- "Well thats cool, do you want me to tell him hi from you?"
Charles- "Um, well, no. He probably wouldn't know. I'm not sure, it was a long time ago. He probably wouldn't remember. He'd probably recognize my voice but..."
Me- "Ok. Thanks. See ya."

He'd recognize your voice?? Hahahaha. Lets talk about the creepiest parts of this conversation.

1. You knew I was a (maiden name) by my eyelashes. Not by the fact I just told you that was my maiden name on the check or the fact the Alec and I look alike in any other way. Just our eyelashes. Ok.
2. You didn't know anyone else that played ward ball at that church except my brother.
3. He wouldn't recognize your name or face like a normal person but he'd recognize your voice.

How many times was this boy checking my bro out and staring deeply into his eyelashes? And how many times was he calling him late at night and not identifying himself so that Alec would recognize his creepy voice but not his name? Hahaha

Just another crazy day in my life. Needless to say I had a good old laugh about this and immediately called my brother to ask if he knew Charles. He didn't. We just laughed at him my entire drive home. I'm planning my next trip to the bank. I'll go through the drive through and pray its Charles at the window. I'll say "Charles? Is that you? Its Liz. I recognized your voice. Its Liz. You don't remember me? Come out here I'll show you my eyelashes."

R. Kelly? Is that you?

I'm sure everyone knows about the "snatchin all your people up video" by now. If you don't, take a minute and listen because you're going to pee. Its hilarious. (my favorite part is when he says we gon find you, we gon find you. haha) Well the craze continues. Here is the new news story. She is my new favorite person. Love her and her daddy who taught her good. The auto tune song for her does not disappoint. Do you or do you not think this sounds like a R. Kelly song? It is such a flashback for me of Trapped in a Closet for some reason. (Please don't watch R Kelly's entire video and if you do admit it because that would be embarrassing/amazing.) Take a moment and enjoy these videos and remember all we need to do to lighten up the evening news is auto tune every terrible story.

July 4, 2006

Today David and I had a very busy day planned. We went up to my moms house early this morning to help babysit my cousins twins while she went to a yoga class. Then we had my birthday lunch (yep, the celebration continues) and went to church with her. It felt like a day we might have had back when we were dating. Hanging out at my moms house all day, going to the old ward, and then making the long drive to David's aunts for dinner. It made me start to think about the fun times we had back then. I love laughing about favorite moments with old friends and I don't really do that with David. I think its because he's my everyday and I don't always separate the hilarious times as the best times we've had together. I want to remember the times where I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe so I asked David what one of his favorite memories of us is. He said July 4, 2006. Haha I have to agree. Here is the story....

David used to live in a duplex that is right across the street from my parents. It was split with a top apartment and a bottom. David was in the top half so he had a little balcony off his kitchen. It was a cute apt. My entire life for the 4th of July I've gone to the fireworks at the local park where they do a big show and everyone you know plus 7000 more show up. I guess we didn't feel like fighting the crowds that night or something because we decided we should just take some camping chairs up on Davids roof and watch the fireworks from there. We borrowed my parents ladder and climbed up from the balcony. David hauled everything up there and I joined him at the last minute to see the show start. Well, there was a huge tree that ended up blocking the entire show. We tried moving the chairs around on the roof (which was wet) but the fireworks were always blocked by something. Then David's downstairs neighbor that had hung back I guess while her husband and 2 kids went to the park came out her downstairs door for a smoke break. Not a typical smoke break. A marijuana smoke break. Ok to each his own but we were like right above her and her second hand smoke was floating right into our faces. I was so over being on the wet, kinda cold, smokey roof for nothing. We were like ok, that's it. It was amazing. Lets go in. David climbs down the ladder taking the chairs with him and then stood at the base to hold it steady for me to come down. I'm not really scared of heights but I do like to have something to hold on to as I climb up and down. This ladder was leaning up against the drain thingy so I had to step over that while turning myself around to climb down. I was frozen in fear. I was on all fours with one leg sticking out like I'm about to pee on a tree like a dog feeling around for the first step of the ladder. David was peeing his pants laughing at me but also trying to coach me off his roof. The distance between the balcony and the roof was probably like 8 feet, nothing right? Wrong. I was terrified. It should have been simple. Climb on facing forward like you're walking down stairs, let go of the roof to turn around, grab the ladder and descend the 4 steps to safety. One problem, I couldn't do the step where you had to let go of everything. I was a huge baby. For 40 minutes David tried to coach me down. The thing that finally got my butt off that roof was the fact that a lot of people I knew from the neighborhood and ward were going to be walking down the street soon returning from the great firework show we couldn't see and would see my little face right next to the porch light on his balcony crying because I was stuck on the roof. We've laughed about it for years but you better believe I haven't been on a roof since that night :]

Happy Birthday to....ME!

I'm 22! Such a big deal. I had a perfect birthday. If I had my way I would celebrate all month, David wasn't havin that so I had to settle for just the weekend before. Saturday we started the day with a VERY early temple session with my mom. It was great. We went to breakfast at Village Inn (side note, I love Village Inn. I could eat their breakfast for every meal of the day. We went to a little dive on Friday with David's family and I was craving some breakfast. I barely kept that meal down, it was terrible. Village Inn the next morning totally made up for it and started the weekend off right!) and then dropped David off before my mom and I went shopping. My mom had asked David what I was in need of and David came up with...new bras. Ok he has a point. I hate bra shopping so I refuse to go but really my husband talking to my mom about my bras? Am I the only one that finds that awkward? Yes? Ok well I do. She bought me a new cardigan and a gorgeous gaudy ring. Then we bought 4 new bras which BTW none of them look good so I'll be back where I started when I take them all back. She took me home and I took off to go to Kellee's baby shower. When I got home David was laying on the couch relaxing. He told me he had the whole night planned. He said I needed to look in the pantry, fridge, and freezer. When I looked this is what I found...All my favorites! He's the best. After threatening Stuart and Kateka we made dinner plans with them and took off for CPK. It was great. I wanted to see the new movie Going the Distance but I got the dates wrong and its not out yet..much to the boys relief. We went mini golfing instead. I haven't been mini golfing since I was like 9 maybe. It was incredible. Kateka and I made a bet with the boys that we could beat them in mini golf and when we did we would get to pick the movie that night. BIG mistake. Never bet against David in golf. He is an animal. A little out of control if you ask me. He won and Kateka and I tried to fight him saying it was our birthdays and that tromped everything but he wouldn't give. Come on right? We couldn't decide on a movie so we just watched YouTube videos all night. It was perfect. Alright, this picture. First of all its amazing. Second of all, we were posing with our golf clubs! David totally messed up this shot because my camera was dying and he was in a hurry. Now we just look like freaks.

Sunday we had my birthday dinner at Wendy's house. She asked what I wanted and I picked meatloaf. We got a little held up when Austin put the hot corn on the glass table outside and it got a little hot and shattered. "But its my BIRTHDAY" I yelled. No problem. The rolls had little shards of glass in them, I would have still eaten them. ;] No, Wendy threw them all away and Stef and I ran to the store to get some rolls from Wal-Mart. The rest of the dinner was fine so we ate outside and laughed. Favorite part of the dinner? The banana cream pie Wendy made for me. It was great!

Yesterday was the big day. I had switched shifts at work because someone took it off and so I worked the 5am. 5:05am my mom comes waltzing in my office. She's like "What are you doing here! I thought that was your car! I wanted you to come in and have your desk decorated!" She was so bummed that I was already there, however, that didn't stop her from decorating my desk around me. haha. Then Jocelyn brought cupcakes. They were delish. We ordered pizza for lunch since it was a special occasion (celebrating me). When I got back up from lunch Jocelyn was like "Here Liz, put these wristbands in your drawer." I didn't question it and I opened my drawer to fine a itunes gift card! Is she kidding? I've worked with her for 3 weeks. How adorable is that. I told her I already fail at her birthday, which is by the way is Oct 30. I don't know how I'm going to make her day as great as she made mine. I'll have to figure it out! When David got home from work he took me to sushi. Then I checked fbook to see that I had like 50 posts on my wall saying happy birthday. I felt so loved from all my pretend internet friends. haha But seriously between that and all the texts I got I realized I have seriously great friends. It was an amazing birthday and I only have 364 days til my next one!